Gem from GK Chesterton

"A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it."

From The Everlasting Man

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Frequently* Asked Questions

Q1:  So what is the "Secret of Newton"?
A1:  A blog about science, history and faith with some techno geeky stuff and humor thrown in.

Q2:  No, that's not what I mean.  I mean what exactly is Newton's secret?
A2:  If I told you then it wouldn't be a secret.

Q3: Look, don't get cute with me pal.  Do you know the secret or not?
A3: I do.

Q3: So then why won't you tell me?
A3: See A2.

Q4:  I'll bet you don't even know.
A4:  That's not a question.  Look at the post title.  It's not "Frequently Stated Comments".

Q5:  [Head shaking, half in anger, half in disbelief.]  OK, let's suppose you know his secret, and you're not telling.  How can I find the secret?
A5:  Read the complete works of Newton including the Principia, his alchemy, his letters, his Mint work... 

Q6:  And then I'll know the secret?
A6:  Probably not.

Q7:  Why the heck would I read all of that then?
A7:  To appreciate one of history's greatest minds. 

Q8:  Wow, I'm impressed you read all of that stuff.  Must have taken years?
A8:  C'mon, you can't just put a question mark at the end of a statement and think all of a sudden it is a question.  Grammatically, you should've said, "Must have taken years."  And then my response to A8 would be, "See A4".

Q9: Fine.  I'll play your little game---
A9:  Hey, it wasn't me who clicked on the FAQ.  You can leave anytime you want Mr. Cranky Pants.  So ask your question or I'm going to drop this whole deal and leave you hanging about the secret of Newton.

Q10:  Sorry.  You're right.
A10:  Apology accepted.  (Plus, A4.)

Q11:  So, how long did it take you to read all of that Newton material?
A11:  I never said I did, you cut me off on A5.  

Q12:  Do you know anything at all about Sir Isaac?
Q12:  Only from the perspective as a lover of science and history, but not a historian or academic.   

Q13:  So this blog isn't really a "hard core" science or history blog. Is it?  I mean, I notice a bunch of humor, or at least attempts at humor.  
A13:  I'm passionate about science.  But my day job involves a bunch of technical writing and when I come home, I don't want to write technically in my blog or novel.   I prefer to keep things on the loose end.  Plus, I'm typically writing late at night, which explains the propensity to coin phrases, a practice  which no sleep-sated person does.

Q14:  Also, if you tried to write technically about something then the world would immediately know that your sandwich is all bread with no meat.  Correct?
A14:  Correct.  Except for perhaps my geology thesis topic which was the "Kinematic Implications of Paleomagnetic Data from Lago Verde and Northern Isla Chiloe, Southern Chile". But even now, the waters of time have mostly rusted that garden tool in my mental shed.  So I suppose I must answer Q14 in the affirmative.

Q15:  You identify yourself as a Christian and say that "The Secret of Newton" is also about faith.   Are you going to go all preachy on us?
A15:  Not all preachy.  At the very most, I give you my word that I'll only go .0023% preachy on you.  Which makes .9976% of the content non-preachy, guaranteed.  

Q16:  Make it .0019% max and I'll stick around and follow this blog religiously.  Deal?
A16.  Umm... [Scratching goatee and looking up at the ceiling, squinting one eye]  Fine. Deal.  You drive a hard bargain.

Q17:  Thanks.
A17:  A4.

Q18:  Seriously now.  Do you know the secret of Newton and will you talk about it?
A18:  I suspect that I do.  It involves a conspiracy that blows away anything in "The da Vinci Code".

Q19:  You didn't answer the second part of my question.

Q20:  Well?

Q21:  Hullo? 

Q22: Are you even there?

Q23: Is my mic on?

Q24:  Drat.
A24:  A4.



The Fine Print
* Rarely.  If ever.



6 comments:

  1. (Perhaps you should get more sleep unless this is a real interchange.) :P

    You know, I've really enjoyed this blog and read several articles on it now and it hasn't occurred to me (not once) to ask what Newton's secret was. Were you feeling neglected?

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  2. Hi, Brian, just checked out your blog for the first time. Looks great. Jan Kok

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  3. Brian, darling, I was filling out a comment, not a question and I still included one. Why didn't you answer it?

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  4. Stephanie, the only neglect that I've been feeling is from the mathematical community who has yet to do an analysis of the Crayon Physics Paradox. I have a right for somebody to do some calculus to explain what happens as the line I reality is approached. And, frankly, that right is not just being neglected, it is being trampled. ;)

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  5. Hey Jan! It has been a long time, no see. I'm glad you checked in and hope to see your comments here because I really respect your perspective. Hope all is well.

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